I know I am young, but man, do I miss when I was younger. Trusting God was my strong suit. I had questions, of course, but I believed He had something good in store for me. Then came this last summer.
I went into last summer thinking God would give me rest, joy, and, if I was lucky, a tan. Instead, He handed me 800 daily servings of bread, a side of hives, and a crash course in what it means to trust His goodness.
During my internship, the bakery was my summer assignment. After a spiritually exhausting spring, I thought God would give me a “good summer.” I pictured early mornings, warm bread, maybe some peaceful music. Instead, it was baking for 800 people, something for breakfast, lunch, two items for dinner, plus a snack, every single day.
It wasn’t the summer I expected, and honestly, not the summer I wanted. The work was constant, the heat relentless, and my body didn’t handle it well. Every shift, I found myself whispering the same prayer: “God, I don’t even know if You’re listening, but I need You so much right now.” I clung to Psalm 40:1-2:
“I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry for help. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure.”
But even while praying, I often felt like I was sinking instead of standing. And then mid-summer, the hives came. From my neck to my feet, my skin burned in the bakery heat. I kept asking God why this was my season, but His Word reminded me He had not abandoned me.
I wish I could say the hives went away, the baking got easier, and my summer turned around. It didn’t. Later, Psalm 66 reminded me that God tests and refines His people, and that He brings them out to abundance.
If you had told me at the start of last summer that I’d end it still tired, with hives, and without the “happy” summer, I would’ve cried. Now, I see it differently. God didn’t give me the summer I wanted; He gave me the one I needed to see that His goodness is not a mood, a season, or a circumstance. It’s His nature.
God was and is still good, even when the summer felt long and the prayers felt unanswered. Psalm 66 ends by saying, “Blessed be God! He has not turned away my prayer or turned His faithful love from me.” And maybe that’s the point; learning to trust not in the life I think I deserve, but in the God who knows exactly what I need.
Have the best day!
Jayden Smith