We have been lying to kids for years. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Since when? Last time I checked, words have definitely hurt my feelings more than any stick or stone has broken a bone (which is never). We don’t give words enough credit for the power they hold. From the very first page of the Bible, we see the significance of speech. “Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light,” (Genesis 1:3). All He had to do was say it. Words created light, existence, and order.
As I am currently working on getting a B.S. in Psychology, it is fascinating to me to watch science repeat truths we hear in the Bible. Take cognitive therapy, also known as talk therapy, for example. It has gained popularity because the way we say things to ourselves and others matters. The goal is to retrain your brain and uproot negative and harmful thought patterns.
Let’s run a quick scenario: Judy works in a commercial kitchen and is overseeing a meal. A few pieces of chicken came back undercooked. She could treat it as a learning opportunity, a chance to emphasize to her team the importance of checking meat temperatures. Or she could label the mistake-makers as incapable or incompetent.
But when we label others or ourselves, we create prisons. We begin to see through the lens of that label and behave accordingly. Calling someone a failure or a screw-up doesn't solve anything; it just makes everyone feel worse and hinders growth.
Paul says it plainly in one of my favorite books of the Bible. Ephesians 4, he writes:
"Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity… No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear." (verses 25–27, 29)
Our words reflect what’s in our hearts. As Jesus said in Matthew 12:34-35, “For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Hence the saying: “Hurt people hurt people.”
I’ve spent years in a quiet war in my mind, where thoughts become beliefs. As a recovering pessimist, I know how subtle and persistent the inner critic can be. The brain, after all, believes what it hears most often. And for a long time, I was feeding it words that tore down. Psychology calls it cognitive restructuring. It is reframing our internal dialogue to promote healing. But long before therapy had a name for it, scripture was already teaching us to speak truth, build up, and give grace.
So now, I choose differently. I choose to speak life, even when it feels unnatural. Words are not just sounds. They are tools, seeds, and sometimes weapons. They build neural pathways. They shape identity. They carry the power to heal or to harm. If God used words to create the world, imagine what your words are creating.
So, speak carefully. Speak intentionally. Speak life.
Jayden Smith