What I am about to share is an unaltered, word-for-word letter that a broken man wrote to God in the midst of a difficult season:
“I want You.
I want to stop hurting You.
My soul craves to be around You.
My stomach twists in knots when I think about my weaknesses and failures.
You’ve given me an abundance of wisdom and clear sight into Your truth. Yet, I turn away. I continue to switch my focus on worldly things and negative self-talk.
I enjoy distracting myself with worldly entertainment and earthly glory.
Save me. Pull me up out of the water. Remind me of Your love for me. Remind me of who I am in You. I need spiritual CPR. Breathe life into my lungs. Raise me up from the pit.
I don’t like my neediness. I am discouraged by my constant failure, and the need for you to rescue me over and over again. It makes me feel like a loser. I would rather give up. I would rather quit. Why live as a constant failure? The guilt and shame is overwhelming.
However, I know quitting is not the way. It’s not what is best. It’s not what You want. You want me to endure. You want me to persevere. You want me to come to You again. You desire mercy and not sacrifice.
How is it that Your mercy for me is better to You than me dying and just getting rid of me? Aren’t I a problem to You? Aren’t you sick of me? I’m sick of me.
Help me to receive and sense Your love and mercy and compassion. You’ve done all that is necessary through Jesus. But I am blind at times. I am coming to you as a blind man, asking for healing. Asking You for what I don’t deserve. Asking You for what I seemingly cannot do. I come to you in faith, trusting in You because of who You are and what You are able to do. You came to set the captives free. I need deliverance. I need Your saving work.”
Matthew 11:28–30 (CSB) 28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Grace & Peace,
Pastor Jack