I have a confession: I really like to be in control. Like really, really. I like knowing all the details, having a say in things, and ultimately being able to shape how they go. In my mind, if everything happens exactly how I imagine, it will be perfect. It’s why, if a book or movie doesn’t have a happy ending that I like, it upsets me.
Control itself isn’t bad — self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. But when that desire for control turns into trying to control others or circumstances, things get dicey.
This has been a tough struggle for me lately. Over the weekend, my family met up in Nebraska for a zoo day. I was so pumped. But quickly, my excitement turned to anxiety when things didn’t go exactly how I planned. I couldn’t keep track of all 11 people all the time, and I lost the little façade of control I thought I had. At one point, my mom turned to me and said, “It’s okay, there’s no point in worrying about the things you can’t control.” And my immediate thought was, “But I can control it, so there’s a lot to worry about.”
If you can’t relate to that, maybe this will sound familiar. Recently, I had two hard and uncomfortable conversations with people I deeply love. In both, I was vulnerable and shared something that had been weighing heavily on me. After the first conversation, I felt like I lost control once that person shared what I said with someone else, something I didn’t want. In the second, I was completely convinced the person would respond one way, but they went completely off-script.
Obviously, my control issues show up in a million other places, but this isn’t just a confessional.
Thankfully, we have a God who understands temptation and shows us how to handle it. In a place called Gethsemane, Jesus prayed in agony because He was about to be betrayed. In Matthew, He says, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (26:36–39). Similarly, in Mark, He says, “Abba, Father! All things are possible for you. Take this cup away from me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what you will.” (14:32–36).
I don’t think the saying, “let go and let God,” really works. It should be, “let’s go to God and let Him work.” Jesus, being God, had all the power and control, yet He didn’t run once things got painful. Instead, He went to the Father and laid His control at His feet.
Someone once told me that God doesn’t give us full control or reveal everything about the future because it wouldn’t be loving. At first, I thought that was ridiculous, but now it makes sense. When I try to control everything, I become stressed, tired, and overwhelmed, and that’s just with the things right in front of me. If I also had the knowledge and control of tomorrow, it would be unbearable.
Jesus said, “Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34).
Control feels safe, but giving it to God frees us. The irony is that control never actually helps. It drains our joy, fuels our anxiety, and convinces us we can carry a weight we were never meant to hold. Letting go isn’t giving up; it’s trusting the One who never loses control.
I now stop and ask myself:
- What area of my life do I need to surrender and pray, “not my will, but Yours”?
- Where is God inviting me to loosen my hold and trust His hands instead?
Have a great day!
Jayden Smith